Jeb Corliss " Grinding The Crack"

So I guess the old video wasn't working?  Let's try this again.  This video is amazing....

Proud to Be an American (Where at least I know a good patriotic song will get ditched for Justin Beiber's music)

I've got a little over two weeks before I make it back home and I'll celebrate my 30th birthday before then.  I've realized through the places that I've visited that there truly is no place like home.  In this sense of the word, I don't necessarily mean the house I grew up in or even the area, but the U.S.  I would happily live in ANY part of the United States over any foreign country.  I don't mean to say any other countries suck, they just aren't the U.S.  Humans are creatures of comfort who like to be in areas that are "normal" for them.  It's why you don't see a cat swimming in the water or a fish flopping around on land (besides the fact it would die).  In that scenario, I would consider myself the fish on land when I'm in a foreign country - sure it might be fun for a minute or so, but sooner or later, I'm going to die (metaphorically speaking anyways).  As much as I hate getting a ticket in the states, I like the fact that it's regulated somehow.  I like the fact that I don't have to turn and look behind me before making a left hand turn from the left lane to check for a person on a moped, I like the fact that (for the most part) one way streets mean you only go one way - the right way - on them, I like the fact that stop signs mean stop or at least slow down considerably and not blow through them and I like the fact that traffic lights and signs are posted in areas where you can friggin see them....  I also like the fact that when you say I want cheese and chicken ONLY on my pizza, they don't throw ham on it because that's how everybody else orders it.  That's what ONLY means folks, it means ONLY those ingredients.  Also, who eats pizza without sauce?  Aside from children (I did growing up, I find it odd now) and people with allergies to tomatoes, EVERYBODY has sauce on their pizza.  So when I say, chicken and cheese only, I thought the sauce was implied.  Whatever.  I also like sitting down at a restaurant, and not being targeted for money simply because I'm American.  It wouldn't bother me so much if the people went to everybody else in the restaurant, but they don't.  I also don't like being stared at wherever I go because I "look" different.  HOLY SHIT IT'S A WHITE DUDE!  Yep folks, I know you've seen us on TV, we exist, we're not fictional, we won't harm you and yes, my skin is different, get over it.  I'm not sure what the first thing I'm going to do when I get back is, but it will probably involve American beer, American hot dogs & hamburgers, my wife and girls and watching a movie... in English.  Oh yeah, 17 days and I'm out - bitches!

Yeah that's right, read it and weep.

Disturbing

There is something upsetting in horror movies in which the killer invades a regular persons home.  Obviously, it draws on our feelings of safety, but there is something more personal to it.  The feeling that somebody has the capability to do that to one of our loved ones.  I think the emotions it plays on are that we watch innocent people who have horrible things done to them, and we watch, completely helpless to the events.  The Collector is one of those films.  To stay that it was disturbing is an understatement.  You add in the fact that it has a helpless little girl in the plot, and you have a recipe for unsettling that I can't remember since The Last House on the Left (the remake, I never saw the first one).  On a side note, the other disturbing fact is that these movies never seem to end with justice.  The bad guy's death is too quick, or he escapes or good becomes evil - whatever it is, it never works out.  In economic times like the ones we're experiencing, I feel it is in the best interest of movie makers to have movies with justice-dealing endings.  I would say that's why the recent flurry of comic book movies has been so successful.  Look at Thor, Captain America, The Avengers, Iron Man etc... Almost all of these end with the good guy kicking the shit out of the bad guy(s).  And look at how they do in the box office.  Maybe I'm a cheeseball, but this is what I want to see in the end of a movie.  Not a weak-ass character barely winning a fight because of a lucky event.  I want to see the Hulk pound the crap out of whatever evil-doer has been working against him where that bad guy has absolutely no chance and doesn't get so much as one hit in during the fight.  I don't know, maybe that's just me.

Check it out, your dog isn't a person.  Don't treat it like one.  It doesn't get a middle name, and don't give it a regular name you might give to a person.  I just saw somebody post a status that they had given their dog a name something like "Michael Edward Wilson".  Ridiculous.  Then they commented that they had decided on their name and were excited about their "new addition".  Your dog isn't a baby either.  It's not your child.  It's a pet.  It's not cute to do this shit, contrary to what you think, and if you don't have kids, it's insulting.  Your dog does not require even close to the kind of care and support a child does.  Can you/would you leave a 1 year old baby at home?  HELL no. Can you do that with a 1 year old puppy?  As long as your house - or at least the area the dog is in - is pet-proofed.  Do you have to teach your pet life lessons?  Nope, you make sure they are house-broken, and after that it's easy.  I've had pets, I know, so don't argue with me on this one.  Children - for the first few years - require 24/7 care, so to call your pet a "kid" or something similar.... like I said, it's insulting.  /Endrant

Road Rage

If you haven't experienced the joy of driving in another country, trust me, you need to.  I don't care how hellish your morning commute can be, I will say this, it can always get worse.  My new favorite trend is people on mopeds that like passing you on the side of the direction you're turning, super awesome.  I.e., I'm turning left, and a moped passes me on the left going straight, preventing me from turning, so now, I don't have to just watch out for assholes walking out in front of me, now I have to watch out for mopeds from behind.  I'm not sure how the death rate isn't higher. Maybe, driving is to the point where it is so bad, people are actually MORE attentive.  This idea is quickly discredited each time a stopped vehicle with its four ways on, parked on the side of the road picking somebody - or something - up, pulls out in front of you as you're driving straight.  I am no expert driver myself, as the VADMV will inform you, or as stated by my most cherished achievement, 52 in a 25, however, I would like to think I don't inconvenience OTHERS when I am driving due to my stupidity/inability to drive.  I'll comment on one more thing before I /endrant.... children on mopeds without helmets.  Seriously?  What the $#@! is wrong with people?  It's apparent by the way you drive, that you could give two shits about yourself, but maybe, just maybe, you could show some slight concern for your child and give him/her the helmet instead of yourself.   Just saying.  I'm not perfect parent either, my youngest thinks I'm a telephone because I'm never around and my oldest has learned all of her bad words by hearing them from "daddy's mouth" (good job, shitbag...oops), however, I would like to think that by having the common sense to provide my child with some sort of protection in the case of an accident, that in some twisted way, I'm a somewhat decent parent.  I'll never be able to stand up to the job my wife does, however, between the two of us, I think we would manage to find helmets for our children should an accident happen.  Hell, she has a tricycle that she has to wear a helmet for while riding.  I know in my younger days, I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a helmet (not cool), but that's what happens as society progresses, you evolve and do things more efficiently and safely.  Whatever, you can't change the world, but you can be damn sure my kids will be wearing helmets if they are riding a bicycle.